It’s Valentine’s week. You probably don’t need a reminder. For many, that means fun. And for many others, that thought breathes pain. For my friends who hurt, it’s you I think about this week, it’s you my heart reaches for. I get it. Believe me, I understand that pain thing around certain holidays, more than you could know. In walking through long years of infertility, Mother’s Day week was often excruciating and one that I dreaded, and longed to avoid. The pain we carry inside, the loneliness, the feelings of loss are often more than we can bear and certainly nothing that we would have ever chosen to sign up for, if we had the choice.
But here’s what I love about God in the midst of it all. He still breathes. He still moves. He still works through the mess. Picking up the broken pieces, one by one, building something beautiful from it all. Yet building something different. Better. Not what we had imagined or ever expected. A beauty that shines more radiant because it’s been allowed to journey through suffering. It’s been taken to a place of deep hurt, and still carries on…yet stronger.
That journey of waiting is one that many have been allowed to enter in this life. Though what we wait for may look different, some things are still the same. We often find ourselves there and wonder why, how, we even got there, and what in the world would be the quickest and least painful way to get out. Though it may be hard to see at first, it truly is a gift. This very journey of waiting, pain, loss is the one that has the greatest potential to bring about the greatest reflection of God’s character through our lives. It’s the journey that breathes, “I can’t do it on my own. I’m desperate for You. I need You.”
Loneliness, suffering, experiencing difficulty in this life – are strange types of gifts, often given to us in disguise. It seems more cruel to us sometimes, like God has forgotten us, neglected us, like He’s not answering our prayers, or is just too busy with the needs of everyone else to really care about us. Yes, I know those lies well. I swallowed them. Every one of them. Believed them to be true…for too long. I got mad. I felt betrayed. I felt shame. I felt hurt. I felt sorry for myself. I felt like I must have done something really awful to have brought this curse over my life.
Until His grace broke through it all…and melted the lies…whispered truth…brought hope…once again.
In reflecting back through those years of waiting, I only wish I knew then, what I know now. It was only a season in life, it often is, until we exit the waiting room, come out the other side. I feel like I failed through much of my waiting saga. Not trusting, whining, complaining. But even at our worst, He’s still at His best. We can’t chase Him away from us as hard as we may kick and scream. He still works in spite of us. He’s faithful to us even when we slide away.
If you find yourself somewhere there right now, in a painful place of waiting, of loneliness – here is truth.
1. It’s only a season. What we experience today will not remain the same. It is a journey we walk in this life. It’s ever changing. The ups. The downs. The tremendous joys. The deep hurts. That path we find ourselves on bids us to keep moving forward. Don’t stay stuck in the pitfalls. Walk close to Him through it all. Don’t go it alone.
2. He’s working. He moves silently at times, but He’s still at work on your behalf. You may not see Him at work, it’s sometimes behind the scenes, but you can trust Him in this. He cares more about you than any other person in this world ever could. He whispers peace over you today. He covers you with His goodness.
3. There’s more ahead. He knows what concerns you, what troubles you. He sees the pain you’ve walked through. He gives hope for your future. There is more in store. There is good ahead. He’s not finished yet. He’s still writing your story. Your beautiful life. Your love story.
Our Savior. He gave everything for you. Don’t think for a minute that He’s forgotten you.
Always True. Always loving. His very heartbeat is for you.
“…I have loved you with an everlasting love. With unfailing love, I have drawn you to myself. I will rebuild you…you will again be happy…and dance…” Jeremiah 31:3-4